Episode Ratings Grid

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Episode Power Rankings

The peaks and the valleys. Find the essential episodes — and the ones to skip.

#1
S2E1 8.7
Welcome to Normal

Lucy is unconscious and in the hospital after the brutal knife attack by Julia Mallory, who blames 'Dirt Now' for the destruction of her career. Don has a hard time after finding Lucy near-death and his schizophrenia begins taking a toll. Meanwhile, Holt's fame is rising, as Willa begins to rise at 'Dirt Now' in following down Lucy's ruthless and aggressive nature. Lucy prematurely returns to work when she hears that 'Dirt Now' is behind in sales and she hires a new employee, Farber Kauffman, whom she assigns alongside Willa to seek out a story about a pregnant gold-digger, named Martina Linn, and her objective to acquire her late husband's money. Also, Don and Lucy try to find dirt on starlet Sharlee Cates who may have some connections to the drug world.

#2
S2E7 8.6
In Lieu of Flowers

Lucy is hit with two deaths; first when Brent Barrow is found dead in his new car from accidental carbon monoxide poisoning, and later, Leo informs Lucy that their narcissistic, selfish, estranged mother also has died from a few too many plastic surgery operations. Lucy and Leo then go after the doctor partly responsible for their mother's demise. Meanwhile, Farber feels betrayed when the crafty Willa uses their romance to get dirt on a gay actor friend of his who wants to keep his arrest for oral copulation a secret. Elsewhere, Don is assigned to stalk Perri, a weight-loss expert who has suddenly gained back her weight, and Don later saves Sharlee Cates' infant daughter in a runaway SVR. Adam Proteau finds Brent's huge porno tape collection of his conquests. Also, Holt confronts Lucy and demands either a full commitment or a breakup.

#3
S1E12 8.4
Caught on Tape

When the porno videotape of the drugged Julia and Johnny Gage surfaces on the Internet, a distraught Julia finds herself in the spotlight by the public seeing her in a positive light while a negative reaction is shown on Johnny. Lucy wants to know how the videotape got leaked out since Holt destroyed the only copy, and she sends Willa out to investigate where the leads lead to an unexpected outcome. Meanwhile, Don is haunted by visions of Marquis who wants Don to ignore his latest photo assignment against Julia and concentrate on something else. Also, Leo returns after a six-week stay at a spiritual retreat with a silent girlfriend where Lucy updates him on her latest situation.

#4 Ita Missa Est S1E13 8.4
#5 Dirty, Slutty Whores S2E2 8.4
#6 God Bless the Child S2E3 8.4
#7 Ties That (Don't) Bind S2E4 8.4
#8 What Is This Thing Called? S2E5 8.4
#9 You Don't Know Jack S1E5 8.3
#10 The Secret Lives of Altar Girls S1E6 8.2

Lowlights

#20 S1E1 Pilot 7.5

Lucy Spiller is the ambitious, ruthless, cynical, and scheming editor of two Hollywood tabloid magazines, 'Dirt' and 'Now' and who's masterful at using threats and manipulation to dig up dirt on celebrities. Aided by resourceful paparazzi Don Konkey, a mentally unbalanced schizophrenic, Lucy zeroes in on struggling actor Holt McLaren, who needs favorable publicity and whose rising-star girlfriend, Julia Mallory, is well-connected to some dirt when Holt leaks info about Julia's superstar actress friend, Kira Klay's pregnancy, but later regrets it. While stemming off her demanding employer, Dirt's publisher Brett Barrow, Lucy is also very lonely and hides her unhappiness and loneliness behind aggression and a mean-spirited attitude. Meanwhile, Don zeros his attention of basketball superstar Prince Tyreese who's having an affair with a local prostitute, while Don suffers from periodic hallucinations from his mental disorder and caring for his sick pet cat. Holt also learns about some dirt that Lucy and Don have on Julia involving a porno tape in order to keep him in line as their source of information.

#19 What to Expect When You're Expecting S1E4 7.7
#18 And the Winner Is S2E6 7.8
#17 Blogan S1E2 7.8
#16 Pap Smeared S1E11 8.0

The Quality Arc

Each point is an episode, plotted in order. Colored bands mark season boundaries. Look for the rise, the plateau, or the decline.

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Episode Engagement

High votes + high rating = beloved classic. High votes + low rating = notorious stinker. Low votes + high rating = hidden gem.

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Season Momentum

Did each season build or fizzle? Green means the finale outscored the premiere. Red means the opposite. Longer arrows, bigger swings.

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Season Consistency

How steady is each season? Tightly clustered dots mean reliable quality. Scattered dots mean a wild ride.

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